At some point during the gruelling semester last year, while we were drowning in a slew of classes and assignments, a friend of mine declared resolutely to me over lunch and coffee: “I’m gonna delude myself into pulling through the rest of the year.”
As a bit of a tech dinosaur (in other words, I don’t have a TikTok account), I had no clue what she was talking about. And as I listened to my friend explain her newfound philosophy to me in amusement and confusion, I’d somewhat wondered if the stress had finally fried her brain. Imagine my surprise when I (finally) discovered the newest, hottest Gen Z catchphrase floating around social media: “delulu”. And after consuming more “delulu” content on the Internet and letting my friends brainwash me into the “delulu” phenomenon, this year, I have made it my New Year’s Resolution to be just a bit more “delulu”.
What is “Delulu”?
The name speaks for itself: “delulu” is short for “delusional”. The top definition on a very reliable site (Urban Dictionary) states: “A delusional fan girl/boy who believes they can/will end up with their favourite idol or celebrity and invest an unhealthy amount of time and energy into said idol.” A slightly more reliable site (Dictionary.com) adds that these people are “superfans or dating partners who display odd or extreme behaviour”.
The term “delulu” has its origins in K-pop fandoms from all the way back in 2014 (Urban Dictionary also lists Directioners and Beliebers as other “delulu” demographics), and was used as a derogatory term to describe especially toxic, obsessive, and parasocial fans (e.g. sasaengs). For example, believing that you were Mrs Jeon Jungkook or Mrs Cha Eunwoo would get you labelled as “delulu”.
Now though, the usage of the term has expanded beyond K-pop. The “delulu” wave that dominated social media in 2023 refers broadly to setting ridiculously high expectations and goals for yourself, no matter how impossible or unattainable they seem. It’s telling yourself things like “I’m going to be the next Bill Gates,” “I’m going to get into Harvard”—or, even as I write this: “this article is totally going to hit peak viewership and my readers totally care about my opinions!”
The core tenet of the “delulu” phenomenon is actually nothing new. It has appeared in other forms: manifestation, abundance mindset, lucky girl syndrome, “fake it till you make it”, and a myriad of other similar names. No matter the name, the key principle underlying all these is: anything is possible, if you want it badly enough and if you believe it hard enough. In other words, being “delulu” is gaslighting yourself into achieving success—when there’s a will, there’s a way.
Is it Trululu?
Sounds pretty crazy, right? When I’d first heard this, I found it unbelievable that one could simply delude themselves into reaching their goals. But as the stresses of school began to pile up, I found myself pondering if “delulu” really was the “solulu”.
There may be no concrete scientific evidence to back up the effectiveness of being “delulu”, but there does seem to be some logic behind it. Broadly, the point is to instil a sense of confidence and optimism in your abilities, allowing you to brush off failure and persevere in times of difficulty and hardship. You can also push yourself out of your comfort zone, and seize opportunities that you previously may have been too fearful to try. This is especially helpful for those who struggle with insecurities, negative self-talk, and other psychological barriers like imposter syndrome and low self-esteem. The act of fantasising, romanticising your life, and working to realise your childhood dreams or inner desires can also be invigorating. Overall, it does seem like being “delulu” may actually be the key to reaching your goals and finding happiness and contentment.
However, the fantastical nature of the “delulu” phenomenon has, of course, given rise to scepticism. Some believe that reality is too bleak to escape; what’s the point of deluding yourself into finding a high-paying job in the midst of soaring unemployment rates? Or what if you become too good at deluding yourself to the point where you lose your true sense of identity, or deluding others to the point where they no longer see you for your real self?
What’s the Solulu?
To delulu, or not to delulu, that is the question. My personal opinion? Delulu is the solulu, and that is trululu.
As we enter the first few months of 2024, we see the same old problems following us from 2023. At the risk of sounding like a self-help book, we live in a VUCA (volatile, uncertain, complex, ambiguous) world. Not only are we facing social problems like unemployment and inequality, we have to contend with climate change, wars, natural disasters, and the like. Things can feel depressing, especially for us Zoomers, whose shoulders have to soon carry the burden of a world going up in flames (literally). And in such a state of affairs, hope becomes an even more precious rarity: how can we push on in the face of such uncertainty and hopelessness?
If the world cannot give us hope, then it falls to us to give ourselves hope. Perhaps the only way for us to imbue meaning into our lives is to tell ourselves that there is still a chance to realise our aspirations, that we still have the agency and the willpower to make our dreams come true even if the world seems like it may collapse at any moment. In fact, I think that it is because the world is so bleak that being “delulu” becomes all the more important.
Of course, this does not mean deluding yourself to the point of actual lunacy (like becoming a sasaeng fan). But if it is what you need to push on for just another week, another month, another year? Then I say: by all means, embrace the delulu.