The plan after completing my A Levels was to move on to university. If I’ve learnt anything from studying in the local school system for the past nine years, it’s that the cycle of study, graduate, and rinse and repeat has been embedded in our culture. That was what all my classmates in Junior College did, and it only seemed natural to follow. I had all the tools at my disposal to make that transition: several university offers, both local and abroad; supportive parents; and of course, a new laptop. But there was still something missing—I wasn’t ready enough to open up a new chapter in my life.
Enter: my gap year.
After so much of my life revolving around school, the thought of taking a year out was intimidating. There’s so much latent potential waiting to be unlocked in a gap year, but it doesn’t come without the fear of uncertainty and the unknown. I took my gap year mostly for mental health reasons, and looking back on it, it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. It was a time to reflect, recharge, and realign myself with the things that truly mattered—not just academically, but personally too. Two years on from the start of my gap year in 2022, I can say that the growth I experienced during it has largely shaped my approach to university and life for the better.
My gap year was simple; I didn’t backpack across Europe, find a passion for entrepreneurship or learn a new language. But ultimately, there is beauty in simplicity. I still made many personal discoveries, some of which I feel are universal, even for those who haven’t gone through a gap year. For anyone who feels pressured to stick to the status quo, I hope you know that sometimes, going against the current is a good thing. If you’re still sticking around, here are some things I learnt during my gap year.
Stay Emotionally Attuned
Check in regularly with yourself. Whether it’s during the semester when you’re juggling between commitments, or during the holidays when you have a breather, life can feel overwhelming sometimes. Though I didn’t have a fixed schedule during my gap year, the vast amount of time I had was difficult to navigate. There were days I’d wake up feeling empowered to do what I set out for myself (improving still-life drawing skills, sustaining a vibrato, learning how to cook more than just instant noodles…) and other days I’d rot in bed. My emotions were turbulent, and it didn’t help that I’d push them aside in favour of completing my goals for the day.
You don’t need a breakdown to take your emotions seriously. Your feelings are valid, and it helps to take some time to assess how you felt during the day. If something’s off, journal about it. Talk to someone you trust. It definitely helped me to have a good support system in the form of family and friends. Whatever you do, don’t suppress your emotions. Find a healthy release, whether it’s engaging with hobbies or spending time with people you care about, and don’t be afraid to communicate your needs. You’d be surprised how many people you have in your corner to support you.
I had the privilege of having a friend who was going through a gap year at the same time I was, and gradually, “Survive, not thrive” became a constant mantra for us. Rough patches, whether in a gap year, during university, or whatever comes after that, are inevitable. Sometimes, it’s enough to get by, especially when factors beyond your control impede on your ability to achieve ideal results.
Find Your Own Rhythm
Everyone goes at their own pace. This was a difficult idea for me to grasp at first.
There’s immense pressure to conform to the norm. It’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind if you’re not hitting every milestone at the same time as everyone. I felt left out looking at my other friends scream school cheers at orientation, make new friends in tutorials and complain about schoolwork. When I let my mind wander too long, I’d be plagued by the thought that I was a year behind the people I used to call peers. Taking a year out after high school isn’t completely uncommon anymore, but there’s still stigma surrounding those who don’t follow the norm of the high school-university pipeline. I internalised that.
But you can’t brute-force your way through life—lagging behind is sometimes your body’s way of telling you to rest. I’d long felt guilty about taking breaks, caught in the cycle of relentless work to seek academic validation—a feeling familiar to many who’ve been through the demanding local education system. Even during my gap year, I clung to the idea of productivity, which eventually took a toll on my health to the point of collapse. And then I realised that deep rest—intentional rest that helps to quiet the cacophony in our minds—is itself “productive”. True rest restores your physical and emotional health, enabling you to perform at your best. Remember, nothing beats giving yourself that nap after a long day at school.
Embrace Solitude
Learning to be comfortable alone can be transformative. After all, the only constant in your ever-changing, sometimes-tumultuous life is yourself. People come and go, and even those closest to you aren’t always available. I can’t lie and say my gap year wasn’t isolating—my friends didn’t have time for me as they dealt with their own transitions and university commitments. Our frequent chats turned to occasional check-ins, and I often felt the distance in those silences. I had to negotiate my loneliness, but eventually recognised that loneliness is a step towards being truly self-sufficient.
With time to look within, I discovered aspects of myself I hadn’t seen before. It’s easy to lose sight of who you are when you’re constantly engaged with others, adapting to their energy, or subconsciously seeking their approval. Solitude meant that these external influences faded away, allowing me to find clarity in my own core values and be my authentic self. It’s hard to drown out the outside noise, but live your life for yourself, as yourself.
Spending time alone also empowered me with a sense of agency. I learnt to make choices without the influence of others and instead trust my own judgement, even if they lead to unplanned detours. It’s liberating to know that I can go for a hike, explore a new part of the city, or revisit an old hobby (like reading!) simply because I want to. I became more assertive and better at advocating for my desires, which made me feel like I was reclaiming my life for myself. You too can find comfort in your independence.
What Now?
I hope that whatever I’ve shared will prove useful in some way. Regardless of what stage of life you find yourself in, there’s always value in slowing down, reassessing your priorities, and advocating for yourself. Maybe you’ll find that deviating from the norm to be your authentic self offers immense freedom—we can all do with a weight off our shoulders.