I’m sure that many of you remember being little and imagining your future, often saying, “When I grow up, I want to…” There were so many things we couldn’t do back then, and for so long, grown-ups represented everything we aspired to be. They could stay up late, eat as much candy as they wanted, and seemed to know everything!
This universal experience of coming of age has been the heart of many films, regardless of genre. I’ll be analysing four films to break down what I find to be the four stages of growing up.
Matilda—When I Grow Up
Matilda, originally a book written by Roald Dahl, has evolved into many forms of media. It tells the story of a brilliant young girl fighting against the tyranny of unreasonable adults, particularly that of her cruel school principal, Ms Trunchbull. For Matilda and her friends, growing up symbolises freedom from oppressive circumstances.
Her story encapsulates that early desire we all share as children—the yearning to grow up and escape the limitations placed upon us. For a long time, growing up seemed to be the pinnacle of achievements, and we waited with anticipation and ambition for all of the great things we hoped to achieve once we grew up.
The world around us seemed so much larger, and infinitely more complex with rules and limitations that we couldn’t comprehend. Our daily highlights came from the simple wonders of a sweet treat, or watching television—little joys that we take for granted today. Though we can no longer return to the simplicity of childhood, we can still carry our childlike wonder onto our next phases of life.
Soul—Fear of Uncertainty
Pixar’s Soul is an exploration of the meaning of life and what it means to truly live. Most of the film takes place in “The Great Before”, a place where souls prepare themselves for their passage to Earth by finding their spark. One particular soul, assigned number 22, is adamantly against going to Earth, refusing to find a spark and staying in The Great Before for thousands of years. The plot stirs when Joe Gardner, a rather unremarkable person with an untimely death and a desire to return back to life, is mistaken to be 22’s mentor. For a good portion of the movie, Joe tries to persuade her into going to Earth so that he can return to his life.
Relating to 22 came as an unexpected surprise to me. We’re all, in some way, constantly in The Great Before. Change is imminent, and uncertainty exists in everything that we do. But unlike 22, we can’t avoid it forever (or in her case, two millennia ). There’ll be times that we feel afraid, and even unworthy of the changes coming our way. Running away from them is only prolonging the inevitable. Most of the time, the changes we face can be positive too.
Another relatable theme in Soul is the pressure of finding our “spark”. There’s a lot of pressure to figure ourselves out in university—we’ve already chosen a major, and once we graduate, we’ll have to decide on a (possibly) related occupation. We have to stand out from the rest of our cohort to be employable, and seemingly commit ourselves to a single career trajectory that has already been defined.
I found a lot of comfort in the resolution of Soul, when 22 realises that she doesn’t need to know her purpose in life to live. 22 and Joe had been operating under the misconception that a “spark” is their life-long passion, but it is revealed that a spark is simply a desire to live. We don’t exist to have a purpose—we can just simply be. The joys of life exist in the small things we experience every day, not from our achievements and accolades.
Toy Story 3—Letting Go
In Toy Story 3, we watch Andy, the once-little boy who adored his toys, prepare to head off to college. Woody, Buzz, and the gang, who once meant the world to him, are now relegated to the attic, boxed up and waiting to be discarded. The film poignantly explores the bittersweet reality of letting go of childhood memories and the things we once cherished.
The toys’ journey parallels our own process of letting go of the past as we move forward. After Andy leaves his toys behind—including his most beloved Woody, whom he had intended to bring with him—there’s no going back. He’ll never see his toys again after handing them off to Bonnie.
Andy giving his toys away illustrates the impossibility of ever reliving our childhood again. And yet, the scene where he plays with his toys for the last time is not entirely melancholic .
There’s a bittersweetness that comes with closing a chapter of your life for good. You may never experience it in its entirety, with fervour and elation, but those treasured memories will last with you for a lifetime.
Lady Bird—Reminiscence
Greta Gerwig’s Lady Bird captures the complex emotions of adolescence and the awkward transition to adulthood. The film follows Christine “Lady Bird” McPherson, a high school senior who dreams of leaving her hometown and her mother’s expectations behind to pursue a life of freedom and self-discovery. As Christine navigates the turbulent waters of family dynamics, friendship changes, and her own identity, the film Lady Bird taps into the feeling of wanting to grow up faster than time allows.
And when she finally does grow up, materialising her dream of leaving for college, she realises that she had grown up too fast. The movie ends with her monologue, where she reflects on how she viewed her home differently after moving away for college.
She comes to appreciate all the things she was so eager to escape. She realises that the very things she took for granted—her mother’s love, her hometown—were integral parts of her journey to becoming an adult. Like many of us end up doing, she looks back with a mix of fondness and regret, realising that yearning to grow up often blinds us to the beauty of the present.
The desire to grow up is universal, and so is the realisation that adulthood comes with its own complexities. These films remind us that growing up isn’t a single moment but a collection of experiences that shape who we are. Whether it’s the innocent hope of childhood, the uncertainty of finding our place, the bittersweet process of letting go, or the nostalgia we feel looking back, each stage of growing up is an essential part of our story.